Signs your little one may not be well attached

Just like anything else, sings of attachment disorders vary slightly from kid to kid, but here is a list of common symptoms. 

What to look for in infants

strong startle reflex after 8 weeks 

avoids eye contact 

doesn't smile 

doesn't reach to be picked up 

holds bottle as soon as possible 

rejects effort to calm and sooth 

no stranger anxiety 

no separation anxiety 

doesn't coo 

doesn't track with their eyes

arches back or is stiff when being held

resists physical contact

 What to look for with toddlers 

comforts him/herself by rocking or head banging 

an unhealthy need for control shown through disobedience, defiance, being argumentative, and or aggressive-control situations where there is nothing to gain

shows inappropriate care/affection to strangers 

underdeveloped conscience 

manipulative 

self centered

has a strong since of right and wrong where others are concerned but does not apply to themselves

superficially charming (faking being cute for a strangers benefit) 

rages/ long term tantrums especially geared towards the mother and in response to

authority 

triangulation of adults (pitting adults agains each other)

failure to stay near trusted adult 

learning delays and abnormal speech patterns 

nonsense questions/ questions they clearly know the answers to

presumptive entitlement issues 

inappropriately demanding and clingy 

lack understanding of cause and effect 

extremely high pain tolerance 

impulsive 

accident prone 

lacks empathy/ ability to recognize other’s emotions 

hypervigilant (takes in information most people miss)

sleep issues 

eating issues

 *does not display behaviors in front of others 

*traditional parenting techniques don’t work 

What to watch for with older kids

~in addition to the toddler list~

 cruelty to animals 

lying about the obvious 

stealing

 preoccupation with fire 

poor peer relationships

 preoccupation with blood and gore

*You can find almost all of these struggles in typically developing children. The difference is the number of issues they deal with at a time and that the intensity of those behaviors tends to be much worse than their peers.  These two signs tend to be more exclusive to children struggling to attach: they usually keep these behaviors out of the sights of other people (usually it's the mom who bares the brunt of the attacks) and traditional parenting doesn't work.